


How to Give the Perfect First Date

by IgnisEtGlacies13



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, First Date Cliches, First Dates, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, M/M, Pining, Robb Stark is a Gift, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, weird pizza flavours but I swear they exist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-01
Updated: 2016-05-01
Packaged: 2018-06-05 09:38:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6699748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IgnisEtGlacies13/pseuds/IgnisEtGlacies13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>At first Theon thought Robb was joking, but his best friend’s expression was perfectly serious. He frowned. Maybe he’d misheard him?</i><br/><br/><i>“Sorry, what?”</i><br/><br/><i>“I need you to tell me how to give the perfect first date,” repeated Robb.</i><br/><br/>Or: Robb asks Theon for first date tips, and the result is the last thing Theon expects.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How to Give the Perfect First Date

**Author's Note:**

> If you're looking for something that's not 100% Throbb fluff, you're in the wrong place. Consider yourself warned ;)

 

When Robb had dragged Theon over to his house after school, Theon had assumed it was because they were going to finally start the physics project they were assigned the week before, or waste time playing Grand Theft Auto like they’d done for three days straight. He’d even speculated that Robb just wanted to keep asking him to accompany him to Sansa’s ballet recital (and Theon sadly knew that he’d eventually give in, no matter how bored he knew he’d be.)

He had _not_ expected Robb to drag him to his room, forcefully sit him on his bed, look at him intently, and say, “I need you to tell me how to give the perfect first date.” 

At first Theon thought Robb was joking, but his best friend’s expression was perfectly serious. He frowned. Maybe he’d misheard him?

“Sorry, what?”

“I need you to tell me how to give the perfect first date,” repeated Robb.

So he hadn’t heard wrong. Theon scrunched his eyebrows, trying to think of why Robb would suddenly ask him that particular question. Then his mind flashed to their English class, and the pretty brunette sitting a few desks away from Robb.

A sly smirk split Theon’s face. “Ah. Did you finally grow a pair and ask out Jeyne Westerling?”

Robb’s cheeks turned pink, and he ducked his head in an attempt to hide it. “Um, no. But I’m planning on asking…her. Soon.”

Theon rolled his eyes, ignoring the sudden pang of jealousy in his chest. “Gods, Robb. It’s not like she’s going to say no – I’m positive she’s got a crush on you.”

“It’s not that,” said Robb. “I – I really don’t want to screw up the first date since, well, you know…”

Theon did know. Robb’s first and only date so far had been with Talisa Maegyr the year before, and it had been disastrous. Theon wasn’t exactly sure what had happened, only that Jon had called him at midnight, frantically telling him to come over because Robb had returned from his date a sobbing mess. But from the minor details Robb had mentioned since, Theon had been able to piece together a general idea of what had happened – and he was never going to be able to act civil to Talisa ever again.

“Taking someone out on a first date isn’t fucking rocket science,” said Theon finally. “Ask anyone that’s been on a date, and they’d say the same.”

“Yes, but you’ve been on so many dates!” exclaimed Robb. “And yours led to additional dates.”

“That’s because _dates_ aren’t my problem. My problem is the people I pick to date,” Theon muttered. 

Robb looked at him in helpless frustration, as he always did at the slightest reference to Ramsay. “Hey, you were the first person I thought of asking for advice,” he pointed out. “It wasn’t just because you’re my best friend.”

Theon huffed loudly, trying and failing to not look at Robb’s puppy-dog face. He flopped backwards onto Robb’s bed and closed his eyes as his head hit the soft pillows, but when he re-opened them Robb was still staring at him pleadingly.

“Fine,” Theon groaned, rolling onto his side and propping his head up with one hand. Robb grinned brightly and knelt on the bed beside him, an expectant look on his face.

He didn’t know what the fuck he was supposed to tell Robb. Every date he’d ever went on (and it wasn’t as many as Robb seemed to think) consisted of him pretty much winging everything on the spot, and that wasn't what a girl like Jeyne Westerling would want. 

But he _could_ tell Robb what a perfect first date _ought_ to be like - the romantic kind that would make any girl swoon. 

With that in mind, Theon raised one finger. “First. When you do ask her out, it’s okay if you look a bit nervous – that shows that you really care about how she responds. But don’t look too nervous, because then you’ll look like a worrywart. You want to seem confident, but not come off as arrogant.”

Robb nodded, absorbing the information with a rapt expression that should have been slightly disturbing, but Theon found it oddly endearing. He grinned and went on, the words flowing easily off his tongue even though he had no idea where they were coming from. “Second. Make sure you’re picking her up from her house and arrive right on time. Not too early, not too late. Bringing her flowers would be a nice bonus. Wear nice clothes and compliment whatever she’s wearing, even if it’s horrid.”

“But that’s lying,” objected Robb. 

Theon made an exasperated noise. “Does that break the Stark honour code or something?” When Robb still looked dubious, he sighed and said, “At least say something positive. Like, ‘That shirt wouldn’t look good on anyone, but you somehow pull it off!’”  

“If the shirt is that horrible, then it would still be a lie,” Robb pointed out. 

“Whatever,” said Theon hurriedly. “Third. Actually, maybe I should have said this first…after she says yes, make sure you know in advance what you’ll be doing on the date so that you’re not floundering around, thinking of something to do. For a first date, a movie and dinner is always a good choice. It’s cheesy, but girls dig it.”

“What kind of movie?”

“Let her pick,” replied Theon instantly. “Don’t drag her to one of your beloved action movies. If Jeyne wants to watch a chick-flick, go with it.” He hoisted himself onto his elbows. “And this is very important: it’s very tempting to try to initiate a make-out session during a really bad movie, but most girls don’t want to make out during the first date.”

“Well, of course not. It’s only the first –” Robb cut himself off and stared at Theon in a mixture of horror and resignation. “You tried to, didn’t you?”

“Yeah,” said Theon wistfully, smirking as he remembered the scandalized look on Kyra’s face when he’d tried. “But that leads to my fourth point: during the actual date, don’t go any further than hand-holding. If she looks cold, lend her your jacket. You can even kiss her when you drop her off at her front door – you know, that shit about leaving girls wanting more – but no more than that.”

“Okay,” said Robb with a nod. “What else?”

Theon thought about it, then shrugged. “That’s all I can think of right now.”

“That’s it?” said Robb, sounding slightly panicked. “What about during the dinner?”

Theon blinked. “Um, okay…if you’re planning on kissing Jeyne, don’t eat anything with garlic. Or onion. Or fish. I think everything else is fine.” He tapped his chin in thought. “Insist on paying – for the dinner and movie. Really, that’s all there is to it.”  

“I feel like there has to be more,” Robb fretted.

Theon moved into a sitting position and fixed Robb with a stern look. “I think you’re making this into big deal when it really isn’t – don’t put so much pressure on yourself.”

“But –”

“Robb, it’s a date, not a life-or-death trip to Mars,” Theon interrupted. “If she really likes you, then she’s going to enjoy the date just because it’s with you.” He paused. “And I can’t believe I just said something that fucking sappy.”

Robb cracked a grin, and to Theon’s relief he didn’t seem so anxious anymore. “You really think so?”

“Definitely,” promised Theon. “If you do all the things I said, she’ll fall head over heels for you.”

Robb looked so happy about the prospect that Theon couldn’t fathom how any girl would be able to date Robb and not fall at his feet. Something was clearly wrong with Talisa’s brain, because when Robb smiled like that his blue eyes lit up like the sun and he looked so damn perfect that Theon was very tempted to lean closer and –

He broke off his train of thought before it lead directly to him losing the only friend he had; his _best friend_ who, he silently reminded himself, was planning on asking out Jeyne Westerling.

“Thanks.”

Theon jerked out of his reverie. “What?”

“For the dating tips,” Robb clarified. “I’ll keep them all in mind when I ask…her out.”

“Oh. That’s – that’s great. Good luck,” said Theon, hoping Robb couldn’t hear the slight bitterness lacing his voice. Judging by Robb’s continuous grin, he hadn’t.

 

\---

 

A few days later, Theon found himself at the Starks’ house again. This time, Robb really did call him over to complete their partnered physics project since it was due the very next day. Theon had a feeling that if he hadn't distracted Robb so much during the week it would already be done, but it wasn't like Robb had protested, right?

Theon scribbled down the concluding sentence to their science report and dropped the pencil on the table. “Done!” he exclaimed triumphantly.

Robb peered over his shoulder. “Your handwriting is terrible,” he observed. “If Mr. Baelish is able to read that, he deserves a medal.”

“Fuck you,” said Theon amiably, reaching across the kitchen table to snag another strawberry cupcake - a treat that if his dad found out he liked, he'd probably be disowned on the spot. He took a bite, savouring the light whipped cream, and said, “Even if he can’t, I’m pretty sure he’d give us a good mark just because you’re Catelyn Stark’s son.”

Robb looked disgusted. “Are you saying that he has a - a _crush_ on my _mom_ –”

“You have to admit he’s obsessed with her!” Theon exclaimed. “Remember when he pulled you aside after class yesterday?”

“He just asked me to tell her he said hi,” said Robb with a shrug.

Theon stared at him. “He’s never asked me to send personal greetings to my mother, or anyone else’s mother,” he pointed out. “Because that's _not normal.”_

“Okay, maybe he has a weird fixation on my mom,” Robb admitted, making a face like he'd just bitten into a lemon. “But then wouldn't he deliberately give us a low mark so that my mom flips out and goes to our school to speak to him face-to-face?”

“That’d be too risky for him,” Theon countered. “There'd be a fifty-fifty chance of your dad showing up instead.”

Robb cocked his head to one side. “True. There was one year Mr. Baelish got into a heated argument with Uncle Brandon – I don’t know what it was about, but I think he’s kind of hated us Starks ever since.”

“Except Sansa, for some reason,” noted Theon. “She said he seems to like her. Hey, maybe it’s because she looks like your mom’s miniature twin –”

Faster than Theon could react, Robb snatched up a cupcake and threw it at him, splattering the front of his shirt with pink frosting. Theon gaped at the smear on his shirt before he looked up at Robb with a dumbstruck expression. “What the fuck was that for?”

“You just implied that our physics teacher is perving on my sister!” exclaimed Robb, crossing his arms defiantly.

“It’s probably true!”

“I don’t –”

Theon seized another cupcake and flung it at Robb’s face. It struck him on the cheek, leaving a pale red smudge behind like a bull’s eye target. Robb sputtered indignantly, his eyes darting towards the tray of cupcakes as if debating on throwing another one. He settled on grabbing a napkin and wiping his face instead, shooting Theon a half-hearted glare.

In answer, Theon gestured at his own messy shirt, causing Robb to snort a laugh. Theon gingerly removed the cupcake that had stuck onto his shirt and eyed it carefully before shrugging and taking a bite. He really did like Catelyn Stark’s cupcakes, and they’d have to be spoiled or poisoned before he’d willingly throw one away.

As Theon munched on the strawberry cupcake, Robb picked up the cupcake thrown at him off the floor and fiddled with the wrapper. Theon noticed that Robb’s fingers were trembling slightly and his head was lowered, which could only mean one thing.

Theon swallowed his mouthful of whipped cream and said, “If you’ve got something you want to ask, spit it out.”   

Robb’s head jerked up. “How did you –”

“I’ve known you for eleven years, Robb. Whenever you want to ask someone something, you get this funny look on your face, like you really want to ask the question but you also want to run out of the room.”

“Oh.” Robb was quiet for a few seconds. Theon took the time to polish off the rest of his cupcake, licking the frosting that had rubbed off on the cupcake wrapper.

Then Robb blurted, “Do you want to come watch a movie with me?”

“…Uh, sure,” answered Theon, hoping his confusion wasn’t showing on his face. He and Robb had seen dozens of movies together over the years – why was he was so nervous about asking him this time around?

Deciding to worry about that later, Theon twisted in his seat to grab the newspaper from the Starks’ plant stand. He flipped it open to the cinema listings page and shoved it towards Robb. “Which movie?”

“You choose,” said Robb, pushing it to back.

Theon quirked an eyebrow. “Really? I thought you’d have wanted to watch the new Cap sequel.”

“I do, but we can see it another time.” 

Theon raised an eyebrow, but wordlessly scanned the listings. There weren’t any that he really wanted to see – if he had to pick one, he’d actually rather go see Civil War. He’d like it enough to at least not fall asleep halfway through, and Robb would definitely enjoy it.

“Well, I pick Civil War,” said Theon in an offhand manner, his eyes moving down to read over the days and times. “Which day were you thinking of going?”

When he didn’t answer right away, Theon glanced up and found Robb looking at him with an unreadable expression. His blue eyes seemed to have darkened, and something about the sudden inscrutable stare made Theon’s blood boil. 

“Um. Saturday is good,” said Robb, his voice sounding slightly strangled.

“All right.” Theon trailed a finger down the times for Saturday. “There’s a showing at four-thirty.”

“Great,” said Robb, placing the cupcake wrapper on the kitchen table. “I’ll swing by your house at around four, then?”

“You’ll – what?”

“I’ll pick you up at your house.”

“You’re going to drive?”

“Yeah.”

Theon stared at him, his confusion increasing. Even though Robb had gotten his driver’s license the year before, it had been their tradition to take the bus and meet at the theatre for so long that neither had ever questioned why Robb didn’t just drive them.

“Okay,” said Theon finally, setting the newspaper aside and plucking the last cupcake off the tray. Robb raised an offending eyebrow, but Theon just shrugged as he bit into it. “What? If you wanted it, you should have taken it first.”

“You were the one giving me first date tips – I’m pretty sure the polite thing to do is ask whether anyone wants the last one.”

“This isn’t a date,” Theon retorted. “Besides, you were the one who chose to ask me. I mean, I wouldn’t have asked _myself_ for dating advice. Most of my exes hate me now, and I’ve lost track of how many of those told me I’ll be going to hell.”

“Well, maybe if you were _politer_ while dating them…”

Theon considered chucking his cupcake at him, but he really didn’t want to waste the last one on something that didn’t involve him eating it, so he took another bite instead. That statement hit a little too close to home – when he’d spouted all of that first date advice to Robb, he wasn’t sure how he hadn’t laughed aloud because he certainly hadn’t done half of those gestures on his dates.

But Robb was different. He was absolutely smitten with Jeyne. No doubt he’d be the epitome of a perfect gentleman when he eventually asked her out, even without the aid of Theon’s spur-of-the-moment tips. Jeyne was exactly the kind of girl who’d appreciate someone like him, which meant that Theon had no right to feel as jealous of her as he did.

Unfortunately for him, that knowledge had never quelled his stupid attraction to his best friend. 

 

\---

 

“What did you say?”

Theon shrugged as he grabbed his wallet from his dresser and stuffed it inside his jeans pocket. “I said, Robb’s driving me to the movie theatre today, so I don't need to take the bus.”

“Huh,” said Asha, frowning from where she was leaning against the doorway. “What’s the special occasion?”

“I don't know. Actually, I was wondering the same thing,” said Theon. “Maybe he wanted to repay me for voluntarily choosing to watch Civil War?”

His sister snorted. “I may not know Robb Stark as well as you, but he’s not the type to break your little traditions just because he thinks he owes you something.”  

“ _Little traditions?”_  

Asha ignored him. “It’s weird, because I’d have pegged Stark as the type to only drive the car for you if –”

She froze. Theon eyed her warily. “If what?”

“I think I know why,” she said gleefully. “I bet he’s – oh, if he is, this is going to be so good.” 

Before he could ask her what the fuck she was talking about, the doorbell rang.  

Theon checked the time - it was exactly four o’clock - and hurried downstairs. He threw open the front door and opened his mouth to greet him with a joke, but the words dried up in his throat when he noticed what Robb was wearing.

He wasn't wearing a suit (thank fuck, otherwise Theon was sure he would have had a spontaneous heart attack) but he was still dressed way more formally than Theon: black shoes, tan cargo pants, and a pale blue shirt that Theon couldn't help noticing matched his eyes perfectly. Compared to him, Theon felt like a ruffian in his own ripped jeans and faded Guns N’ Roses T-shirt. It made him slightly self-conscious, but Robb didn't bat an eyelid.

“Hey,” said Robb, grinning brightly. “You look nice.”

Theon was taken aback – since when did Robb greet him with _you look nice?_ –  but he recovered quickly and smirked. After deliberately raking his eyes over Robb’s outfit again, he said, “Speak for yourself. You’re all dressed up – what’s the special occasion?”

He said it like it was a joke, but he was genuinely curious about the answer to the question Asha had posed earlier. She seemed to have figured it out, but if Theon knew his sister at all, she wasn’t going to tell him anything.

Robb flushed, but before he could answer Asha spoke from over Theon’s shoulder – when did she even get there? “Robb Stark, I need to talk to you.”

She pushed past him and joined Robb outside, slamming the door behind her and leaving Theon staring at the closed front door. Scowling, he looked through the peephole, but Asha appeared to be talking to Robb and he couldn’t hear what either of them were saying. He was tempted to open the door just to spite her, but he was pretty sure Asha would kill him if he so much as turned the doorknob.

A minute later, the door re-opened and Asha strode back inside, a smirk on her face. Theon glanced past her, noting Robb’s still-red face, and started to ask, “What –”

“Oh, it’s nothing important,” Asha called out over her shoulder as she trotted up the stairs. “I just need to call Jon. He owes me thirty bucks.”

“Jon _Snow_?” He hadn’t even known Asha was on speaking terms with him. “Why does he owe you money?”

Either his sister didn’t hear him or she ignored him again. Theon dimly heard the door to her bedroom slam shut.

“What –” he started to say again.  

“It’s nothing important,” said Robb, echoing Asha’s words. “I mean, we should go to the theatre now. So that we’re not late.”

Theon was smart enough to recognize an excuse when he heard one, but Robb was also smart to enough to turn around and start walking back to his car before he could press the matter further. Rolling his eyes, Theon grabbed his coat and shrugged it on before hurrying after him.

He reached Robb’s side in time to see Robb open the passenger door. Theon stopped in his tracks.

“Aren’t you driving?”

Robb gave him a confused look. “Yeah. I’m just opening the door for you.”

“Oh.” Theon coughed, using one hand to mask his mortified face, and quickly climbed into the car.

Robb closed the door behind him and moved around to the other side of the car, settling in beside him. He reached into the backseat and grabbed a small white box from the floor, checking to make sure it wasn’t damaged before handing it to Theon. “Here.”

Theon frowned but wordlessly opened the lid.

He wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting, but it certainly wasn’t a dozen strawberry cupcakes. His gaze flicked back to Robb, who was looking – hopeful? 

“Didn’t we finish all of your mother’s leftover cupcakes on Thursday?”

“Yeah, we did.” Robb scratched the back of his neck and avoided his eyes, starting the ignition. “I baked those this morning.”

Theon stared at him. “The last time you baked something, you set the fucking kitchen on fire.” 

“It was only a small fire!” Robb yelped in protest. “I just misread the baking time on the recipe!”

“I still don’t know how you misread 30 minutes as _80 minutes_ ,” snickered Theon.   

Robb shoved him lightly as he backed out of the Greyjoys’ driveway and drove down the road. Theon almost punched him back, but Robb was a fairly new driver and he really didn’t want to die on the way to the theatre when he _still_ didn’t know what all the fuss Robb, Asha, and apparently Jon were making about their outing.

It took Robb about twenty minutes to arrive at the theatre. It was not quite late enough for the dinner crowd, so when Robb and Theon got out of the car and walked to the front entrance, the parking lot and surrounding streets were eerily quiet for a Saturday afternoon. 

“You sure you want to watch Civil War?” asked Robb, his voice echoing in the silent air, as he held the theatre door open for Theon.

Theon exhaled irritably and stepped over the threshold. “Yes, I’m sure. It’s better than all the other options.”

Robb followed him inside, eyeing the movie posters lining the walls of the cinema. “ _London Has Fallen_ sounds good.”

“You and your action movies,” snorted Theon, but there was no denying that he sounded more fond than anything else. “That movie didn’t get very good reviews, though.” He glanced over the posters, his eyes landing on the last one. Theon grinned appreciatively and pointed at it. “Hey, that one doesn’t look too bad.”

Robb followed his finger and frowned. “You literally just complained about me liking action movies, and now you’re saying _Bastille Day_ , an action movie, doesn’t look too bad?”

“Not the plot,” Theon dismissed. “The actor – Richard Madden is pretty damn attractive.”

Robb openly rolled his eyes and tugged on Theon’s arm. “We are _not_ picking a movie just so you can ogle one of the actors,” he said firmly as he dragged him into the ticket line behind a family of four. His tone was strangely loud, causing Theon to raise an eyebrow. Was Robb – jealous?

No. The notion was ridiculous. Theon must have been imagining things.

The ticket seller waved them over once the family ahead of them was done. Theon followed Robb to the counter, where Robb opened his wallet and said, “Two tickets, please, for the next showing of Captain America, Civil –”

“Robb, what the fuck are you doing?” Theon hissed.

Robb turned towards him, polite bafflement written across his face. “Buying our tickets?”

“Our – I can pay for my own ticket!”

“It’s fine, I’ve got it.”

Theon levelled him with a glare. “I got my paycheck yesterday, I can afford to watch a fucking movie!”

Understanding flashed in Robb’s eyes. “It’s not – I’m not buying yours because I think you don’t have the money. I just _want_ to because, well…” He sucked in a breath, looking somewhat frustrated. “Look, how about I buy them this time, and next time I promise you can pay for both?”

Theon kept glaring at him for another few seconds before sighing and nodding slightly. He wasn’t sure if he was giving in because of Robb’s puppy-dog expression or the amused look the ticket seller was giving the pair of them, but whatever the reason, he reluctantly stepped back. 

When Robb finished, the ticket seller waved them away, still looking far too amused by their antics for Theon's liking. Robb glanced at the tickets and said, “Civil War is in Cinema Four.”

“All right,” said Theon, looking around the theatre. He spotted the cinema with the label ‘Cinema 4’ over top of it in neon blue letters and pointed towards it. “It’s over there, let’s go –”  

“Wait!” cried Robb, latching onto Theon’s sleeve to stop him from moving too far away. “I didn’t buy popcorn yet.”

Theon froze mid-step. “Robb, you don’t even like popcorn.”

“I don’t,” he admitted. “But you do.”

“So you’re buying me popcorn now?” shouted Theon. He could tell his voice was bordering on hysterical, but at that moment he couldn’t care less. “Gods, Robb! Next thing I know, you’re going to be buying me dinner afterwards!”

Robb was silent for a few seconds too long.

Theon’s mouth fell open slightly, and he stared at him incredulously. “Seriously?”

Robb coughed in embarrassment. “I, um, had actually planned on taking you to the pizzeria across the street. I figured we could split a pizza or something?”

This time Theon didn’t even bother commenting on the fact that Robb was ambivalent towards pizza but he knew Theon liked them. At Robb’s confession, all the anger drained out of him and he said wearily, “Shouldn’t you save some of this for your date with Jeyne? If you’re broke, what are you going to do?”

Robb shot him a weird look Theon couldn’t read. He looked on the fence about saying something, but then he blinked resolutely and his blue eyes cleared. “I won’t go broke from buying a bag of popcorn,” he said finally.

“Not from buying a bag of popcorn, no,” agreed Theon. “From buying two movie tickets, popcorn, pizza, and the price of your car’s gas? Yes.”

“You’re not the only one with a part-time job,” Robb pointed out, crossing his arms in the pose Theon recognized as the typical Stark stubbornness. “I got my paycheck yesterday, too.” 

Theon threw his arms up in the air. “Fine! If you want to spend all your hard-earned job earnings on me –”

He’d been about to say _instead of Jeyne_ , but Robb interrupted with an “I do”, spoken so sincerely that Theon’s words trailed off and he couldn’t bring himself to finish the comment.

Looking entirely too satisfied to have won their argument, Robb strode to the food counter to order the popcorn. He returned a few minutes later, his arms laden with the popcorn for Theon, a bag of chocolate, and a fountain drink balancing precariously on one hand. Theon took one look at him and gave him a questioning glare.  

“It was a combo,” explained Robb sheepishly.

Theon rolled his eyes and grabbed the popcorn from him before the drink could topple onto the floor. “Let’s go, then. The movie starts in two minutes.”

Robb handed their two tickets to the attendant and they walked inside the spacious theatre. Theon picked his way to the back row, squeezing past a young couple in order to sit in the far left corner like they always did. Robb took a seat beside him, placing the drink in the cup holder and stretching his legs out.

As the lights dimmed, Theon stuffed some popcorn in his mouth before reclining back into the velvet seat, letting his arms lie on the armrest. The moment he did so, he felt Robb’s left hand cover his right and the only reason he didn’t bolt upright was because the movie started playing.

Theon’s breath hitched and he chanced a look at Robb, but his best friend seemed engrossed in the title sequence. Did Robb even know what he was initiating? The simple action was definitely not a typical friends-only gesture, and the warmth of Robb’s hand over his was doing crazy things to Theon’s heartbeat – he _really_ hoped his racing pulse wasn’t noticeable.

 

\---

 

“So what did you think?” asked Robb, pushing open the door for him as they left the movie theatre.

Theon tilted his head as he pondered the question. “Not bad - for a superhero film,” he said finally.

Robb gave him an exasperated look. “What have you got against them?”

“They tend to be cheesy as fuck,” said Theon. “And predictable. Bad guy threatens the world, all the good guys team up to defeat the bad guy, then everything is sunshine and rainbows until the next baddie rolls around.”

“Well, I suppose that’s the backbone of most of them,” admitted Robb. “But that’s what makes them interesting – I mean, that trope can also apply to most fantasy movies, too.”

“Which is why I said this one wasn’t bad, because there were actually more plot devices,” said Theon, shivering as the cold evening breeze swept over him, making goosebumps crawl over his skin. Robb noticed and stopped walking, causing Theon to slow to a halt. “What?”

“You’re cold.”

“No,” Theon lied.

He knew immediately that Robb didn’t believe him. “Hang on,” he said, unzipping his jacket. 

Theon’s mind blanked. Surely Robb wasn’t actually planning to –

Robb shrugged off his winter jacket and draped it over Theon’s shoulders without ceremony, confirming Theon’s suspicion. 

“What – Robb, I’m not –”

“If you’re about to say that you’re not cold, don’t bother. I know you get cold easily and it’s pretty obvious that in a couple minutes you’re going to be freezing. I’d really rather not eat dinner with a human ice cube.”

Theon opened his mouth to argue, but realized Robb was right and snapped his jaw shut. “Fuck you,” he said aloud.

Robb just smirked triumphantly. Another cold wind blew past, and Theon tugged Robb’s jacket closer to his body. He would never admit it to Robb, but the jacket's fleece lining actually did make him warmer, plus it had the added bonus of smelling like Robb – something he would die before ever mentioning aloud.  

“So,” said Robb. “Does pizza still sound good?”

“Of course it does.” It was the truth – at that point, Theon would eat anything hot and edible.  

Robb beamed, and Theon’s own mouth quirked up instinctively.

“Besides, I’m starving,” added Theon.    

“You just ate a whole bag of popcorn.”

“That was my pseudo-lunch.”

Robb’s grin disappeared. “What happened to your real lunch?”

“Uh, I wasn’t hungry at that time,” lied Theon. In truth, he’d fallen a bit behind at his part-time job and had decided to skip lunch to catch up. If he told Robb that, he knew his best friend would freak out over Theon’s weight, which Theon did not want to happen because he _had_ gained weight after the Ramsay incident – just not at the pace Robb had hoped for.

Robb didn’t look convinced, but apparently decided not to press the issue. “Let’s go before you faint from hunger, then,” he said, a teasing note creeping into his voice as he beckoned Theon over.

“You think I’m some damsel in distress?” demanded Theon. 

Robb glanced at him out of the corner of his eye. “Will you punch me if I say yes?”

Theon _did_ try to punch him, but Robb just laughed and darted out of the way – which was how they ended up running all the way to the pizzeria like schoolboys playing tag.  

Theon sank against the brick wall, panting. Robb leaned on it beside him, and Theon weakly punched him with half the force he’d originally planned on using.

“You’re an idiot,” he proclaimed. 

“Hmm. Not as much as you,” said Robb, and why was there a mysterious twinkle in his eye, like he knew something Theon didn’t? “Trust me.”

“Care to enlighten me as to why?”

Robb considered it, then shook his head. “No. It’s amusing to watch you try to figure it out – plus, it’s kind of adorable when you’re clueless.” 

Theon sputtered incoherently, but Robb just winked at him and walked into the pizzeria. Frustrated at both Robb for being infuriatingly endearing, and himself for still being completely perplexed by the whole fucking turn of events, he followed him inside.

The inside of the establishment was warm and lit by the soft incandescent chandeliers hanging overhead. Bright orange-and-yellow squares patterned the walls, which were covered in detailed engravings of pizza toppings. Theon had never been there before, but Robb was apparently on a first-name basis with the place, as he greeted the man behind the counter as _Davos_. 

Davos tossed aside the rag he was using to wipe the counter and fixed Robb with a piercing look. “If it isn’t Robb Stark.” His eyes slid to Theon. “And this is not one of the siblings you bring here so often, unless you had him hidden all this time.”

Robb chuckled. “No. This is Theon, my best friend. Theon, this is Davos.”

Theon threw the middle-aged worker a practiced smirk. Davos paused, his brown eyes flickering between Robb and Theon, before shooting him a small, knowing grin. “Well. What can I get you two boys today?”

“Um…” Robb scanned the menu above their heads. “Theon, you have any preferences?”

Theon gave the menu a cursory glance. There was a myriad of options, but Theon was hungry enough that he didn’t really care what kind of pizza Robb got.

“As long as there isn’t any fish on it, it doesn’t matter,” he said.

Robb nodded to show he’d heard. “Davos, what’s the daily special?”

“The chipotle steak pizza,” replied Davos. “It’s topped with steak, red onions, chipotle barbecue sauce, and mozzarella cheese.”

“That sounds pretty good,” remarked Theon, at the same time that Robb said, “Um, maybe not for today.”

Theon frowned and raised an eyebrow. “What’s wrong with it?”

“It has onions,” said Robb absently, continuing to study the menu.

That just made Theon’s eyebrow rise higher. “You love onions.”

“Yes, but… _you know_.”

“I don’t, actually.”

Robb’s lips curved up into a half smile and half smirk. “You really are clueless.”

Theon ignored him, flicking his gaze back to the list of pizzas. “If you’re not eating onions, that eliminates more than half of the menu,” he said pointedly. “Any other foods you’re not eating?”

Robb thought about it, pressing a finger against his chin. “Not fish, but you already said that. And not garlic. I think that was it.”

Something about those three food ingredients rang a bell in Theon’s mind, as if he’d heard them spoken recently in a different context, but when he chased the memory, he came up empty.

Then his mind registered Robb’s words and he repeated incredulously, “ _Not garlic_?”

“Nope.”

“Well, there goes the other half of the menu,” said Theon sarcastically. 

There was a discreet cough from Davos. Theon had forgotten the man was standing in front of them, patiently watching them take forever to order a fucking _pizza_. “May I make a suggestion?”

Robb and Theon exchanged a brief look, then Theon shrugged. “Sure.”

Davos pointed at the pizza on the far right corner of the menu. “You could try the meat supreme pizza. It’s got pepperoni, bacon, sausage, and mozzarella cheese – no onions, garlic, or fish. Of course, I’m running on the assumption that being teenage boys, you love meat, but…”

“Don’t worry, we do,” Robb reassured him, giving Theon a sideways glance. “Does that sound good to you?”

Theon shrugged carelessly. It actually did sound good, and Robb seemed to trust this Davos guy’s judgement. “Sure.”

Davos smiled and punched in the order on the register. Once Robb had paid for the pizza and drinks (having dismissed Theon’s repeated offers to split the bill) he disappeared into the back room.

Theon moved to one of the empty booths and dropped onto it, peeling off Robb’s jacket before he started sweating in the warmth of the pizzeria. Robb sat across from him, and Theon held out the jacket. “Here.”

“You can keep it for now,” said Robb.

“Robb, I am wearing my own fucking coat,” Theon pointed out irritably, keeping his arms outstretched. “I don’t need two when it’s over twenty degrees in here.”

Robb hesitated, but took his jacket back with obvious reluctance.

“Sometimes you Starks are too stubborn for your own good,” sighed Theon.

“Really. How so?”

Theon shrugged. He nearly said _you’re still friends with me, when anyone sane would have given up years ago_ but whenever he’d said something along those same lines in the past, Robb tended to get upset. He shouldn’t, though – Theon knew he was a difficult person to be friends with, and he knew Robb could have been friends with literally anyone else from school, someone who wasn’t rude and sarcastic, generally acted like an asshole most of the time, and who harboured hidden, unrequited feelings for him.

Theon’s phone emitted a soft chime. He yanked it out of his jeans pocket and read the text, his eyebrows knitting together.

“Who is it?” asked Robb.

“It’s Asha,” said Theon, staring down at his phone screen in complete confusion. “She wants you to tell Jon that she’s not lying and that she really won their bet?”

Robb’s cheeks tinged pink. “I – can you tell her I’ll confirm it later?”

“I’m not a fucking messenger owl,” grumbled Theon, but he dutifully replied to his sister and stuffed his phone back in his pocket. He guessed that bet was the reason why Jon owed her money, but the question was…

Raising his eyes to meet Robb’s, he asked, “What bet is she talking about?”

“...Something she and Jon had apparently made a couple years ago,” said Robb, fidgeting nervously on his chair. “That’s what she wanted to talk to me about back at your house.  She guessed that I – well, that we – were fulfilling the terms that meant she won their bet.”

“Terms? But we’ve seen movies together before – what the fuck were they betting on?”

Robb turned even redder, but he was saved from answering by Davos materializing beside their table and carefully placing the pizza box and two soda cans between them. “Enjoy your dinner,” he said, winking at them and retreating back to the counter.

Theon flipped open the box cover, but not before catching the relieved look on Robb’s face. The smell of fresh meat wafted from the pizza, and the scent was heavenly to Theon’s hungry stomach. He tore off a slice of pizza, hot cheese still dripping from it in long strands, and bit into it. He chewed for a few seconds, carefully savouring the portion before swallowing.

“Is it good?” asked Robb, pulling his own slice from the pizza.

“Really good,” admitted Theon, barely managing to cling to his self-control and not moan around the taste when he took another bite. “But I haven’t forgotten, Stark.”

Robb froze with the pizza slice halfway to his mouth. “What?”

Theon pointed at him accusingly, the gesture not quite as threatening since he used a pizza slice rather than a finger. “You were about to tell me what my sister and your half-brother were betting on, and what the fuck it has to do with us.”

“Oh, that,” said Robb, lowering his hand. “Look, I – can we talk about this after dinner? I promise I’ll tell you everything.”

Theon eyed him dubiously. “Does everything include your erratic behaviour tonight?”

“When I say everything, I mean everything,” vowed Robb.

Theon slowly ate another mouthful of the meat supreme pizza, watching his best friend squirm slightly under his considering look. He cracked open his soda can and took a long draught before setting it down on the wooden table with a loud clinking sound. “Fine.”

Robb heaved an audible sigh and raised the pizza to his lips again.

“But I’m holding you to that promise – on pain of me telling Jon about the time you snuck into his room and stole his girlfriend’s mittens.”

Robb’s jaw dropped. “It was cold and I couldn’t find mine!” he cried defensively. “I didn’t know they were Ygritte’s gloves until Jon mentioned that he couldn’t find her pair. Besides, I put them back.”

“Yeah, _after_ winter was over.”

“They were warm! And I didn’t want Ygritte to kill me!”

Theon snorted in amusement. “Well, Jon shouldn’t ever have to know about your wrongdoing,” he said, reaching into the box for another slice of pizza.

Robb’s amused snort went straight to his heart.

 

\---

 

“Why are you pouting?” asked Robb as he slowly drove down the road. It was almost eight o’clock, and more cars were filling up the streets as people headed to restaurants for Saturday night dinner. Theon sank lower into the car seat, shooting his best friend a subdued scowl. 

“I’m not pouting,” he snapped. “I’m _annoyed_.”

A smirk crept onto Robb’s face, and Theon wished he could wipe it off. “To be fair, I did say I’d tell you after dinner – I just didn’t specify exactly _when_ after dinner.”

“For fuck’s sake, anyone would assume you meant right after dinner!” Theon crossed his arms indignantly, but looked up when Robb drove right past the intersection where Theon lived.

“Um, you were supposed to take a left turn back there,” he stated.

“I’m not dropping you off yet,” said Robb. “We’re making a quick pit stop.”

“How long will this _quick_ pit stop take?”

Robb threw a quick look at the white box on Theon’s lap. “Long enough for you to eat another cupcake, if that’s what you’re asking.”

Theon couldn’t resist a lopsided grin as he opened the box Robb had given him earlier and grabbed another strawberry cupcake. Licking the frosting off the top, he kept an eye on the window as he munched on the cupcake. He was trying to figure out where Robb was going because the route he was taking looked slightly familiar, but Theon couldn’t quite place it –

Until Robb turned onto a small, residential road bracketed by tall magnolia trees and wide emerald-green hedges. Theon’s eyes widened when he recognized the meandering lane they were driving on.

“Seriously?” he asked, unable to come up with anything more intelligent at that moment.

“We haven’t been here in ages, I thought it’d be nice to come here again,” said Robb with a shrug.

Theon watched in bemusement as Robb coasted to a stop in the tiny parking lot of a public playground. The setting sun overhead cast a soft light over the lawn, bathing the area in a rosy glow of pink and orange hues. Even from the distance, Theon was able to see the swing set glinting like silver. The wind was causing the swings themselves to rock back and forth, as if ghosts were swinging on the simple wooden planks.  

The two of them stepped out of the car. Theon slammed the door shut behind him and walked towards the playground, hearing the dewy grass squelch underneath his shoes. Robb trailed after him as he slowed to a stop in front of the swing set.

“Do you remember when we first met here?” asked Robb when Theon just stared at the structure in front of him.

He snorted. “’Course I do. I was sitting on the swings, minding my own business, when some nosy little redhead came along and started asking me personal questions.”

It was a testament to Robb’s long friendship with Theon that he didn’t look offended, merely skeptical. “I asked you why you looked so sad – that’s hardly a personal question. I was just wondering how anyone could be at a playground and not have fun.”

Theon _did_ remember that. It had been the first time he’d run away from home after a fight with his father. Lonely and upset, he’d made his way to the playground his mother had taken him to once before her death, and sat down on the empty swing. He’d absentmindedly spun around in slow circles, twisting his fingers around the cold metal links, when the Stark family had showed up and the eldest Stark child had walked right up to him as if he wasn’t a random stranger.

_“Why do you look so sad? This is a place to have fun!”_ Theon quoted Robb’s words from memory. “Of all things, _that’s_ what you’d said. Then, when I ignored you, you asked if you could _push_ me, just because I was on a swing set.”

“Hey, you agreed and it cheered you up!” Robb exclaimed. “You were smiling by the end of it.”

“Yeah, I guess,” admitted Theon, looking out over the expanse of the playground. Despite the fact that he and Robb had met there almost ten years earlier, not much had changed since then. Apart from the swing set, the slides, ladders, and monkey bars were just as he’d remembered. Even the little bench where Ned and Catelyn Stark had sat and watched their son befriend a complete stranger was intact – they’d attempted to dissuade him, but Robb had always been stupidly stubborn and he’d insisted that Theon was his new best friend.

That day, Theon had returned home feeling lighter than he’d had in years.  

Smiling slightly at the memory, Theon strolled past the swing set and headed to the park bench. “Then two years ago I told you I’d be going to the same high school as you, and I thought you were going to explode from joy at the news." 

Robb chuckled as the two of them settled onto the bench. Theon leaned back as far as he could without his head dropping over the edge, his palms splayed on the hard wooden surface.

“I was just really happy that I’d get to see you every day,” said Robb, in a voice so low Theon wasn’t sure whether he was meant to hear it – but he did. Warmth coiled in his belly, and he hoped the setting sun was low enough that Robb couldn’t see the dusting of pink on his cheeks.

“Of course,” added Robb, “it also meant _someone_ kept distracting me from doing my work.”

“Huh. Wonder who that could be,” said Theon innocently.

Robb elbowed him in the shoulder. “At least Mr. Baelish did end up passing our physics assignment, even if my dad wasn’t exactly pleased that we’d gotten a C+.”

Theon rolled his eyes. “If you care so much about that, just tell Mr. Baelish that you’ll arrange for him to meet with your mom if he raises our grade –”

“No!” Robb cut in with a scandalized yelp. 

Theon raised his hands in a placating gesture. “I’m joking.”

Robb mumbled something about it not being funny, bringing a grin to Theon’s face.

The two lapsed into a comfortable silence. Theon absentmindedly began playing with the ends of his coat, while Robb tapped his fingers against the arm of the metal bench. The sound of his fingernails against the iron produced a rhythmic melody that Theon didn’t recognize.  

Just before the silence between them threatened to become awkward, Robb blurted, “I suppose I should tell you now.”

Theon didn’t need to ask to know what he was talking about. “You suppose right.”

Robb hunched his shoulders and curled his fingers around the edge of the bench, leaning slightly forward like a bird about to take flight. “I know I said I’d _tell_ you, but I think if I _show_ you first it’ll be easier for you to understand what I say later, because you’ve been so incredibly dense this evening and I can’t believe you still don’t get it –”

“Robb, what the fuck are you trying to get at?”

His best friend turned towards him, shaking his head once before reaching up to grip the sides of Theon’s face and drag him down, connecting their lips in a searing kiss.

Theon gasped into it. He felt Robb’s mouth curve against his for one fleeting moment, pressing gently but firmly, before he moved his head back a fraction to gauge Theon’s reaction. Theon swallowed harshly, his dark eyes meeting Robb’s blue ones.

“What,” was all Theon managed to choke out.

“You are such an _idiot_ ,” stated Robb, sounding impossibly fond. “This was our _first date_.”

It took several seconds for the words to sink in.

“This was our – seriously?”

Robb nodded. Theon was starting to feel dizzy.  

“So what you’re saying,” said Theon slowly, “is that we just had our first date, and you _didn’t bother telling me until now?_ ”

“I thought you’d have figured it out by this point,” said Robb sheepishly. “But – yeah.”

Suddenly all the little things Robb had done during the evening, the strange gestures and weird looks, clicked together and formed a picture that Theon couldn’t believe he’d missed. His eyes widened at the realization, and he stared at Robb in disbelief.

“That’s why you asked me how to give someone the perfect first date,” he said in a stunned voice. “You used my own advice – on _me_.”

Robb chewed on his bottom lip. “Um. Yeah.”

A million questions crowded Theon’s mind, and he asked the first one that popped to the forefront. “I thought you liked Jeyne?”

“I do like Jeyne – _as a friend_ ,” stressed Robb. “ _You’re_ the one who assumed I had a crush on her.”

“Oh,” said Theon ruefully. “So then Asha and Jon’s bet –?”

Robb rolled his eyes. “Asha bet that we’d eventually start dating, and Jon disagreed with her.”   

It sounded like something Asha would do. Theon was more surprised that Jon went along with her, but then again, Jon could be just as stubborn as Robb sometimes. “All right, but what the fuck convinced you that using my own advice on me might be a good idea?”

Robb emitted a nervous chuckle, his eyes looking anywhere but at Theon. “Um, as you know, my date with Talisa went horribly. I really, really didn’t want to make the same mistakes and screw it up with you because you’re also my best friend, but the only person I could think of to ask for advice was, well, you.”

Theon raised an eyebrow. “What about Sansa?”

His best friend cringed. “I considered it, but it would have been really embarrassing, asking my little sister for dating advice. Plus, she’s only been on one date that went just as badly as mine, while you always boasted about your successful ones.”

A small laugh burst from Theon’s throat. He figured then was as good a time to confess as any. “Just so you know, the advice I gave you? I never actually did any those things on my dates.”

Robb’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Really? But – then why did you tell me all that?”

“It was what I figured a perfect first date should be like,” Theon said with a shrug. “My dates aren’t usually the, um, _conventional_ type, and I thought you were going to ask Jeyne out. Which is why my advice was filled with stupid clichés and romantic gestures – if I knew you had _me_ in mind, I would have changed some things.”

“Such as?”

Theon shot him a lewd grin. “First off, I definitely wouldn’t have been opposed to making out during Civil War.”

Robb laughed, the sound echoing throughout the empty playground. “I know that, but since you said not to on the first date –”

“Yeah, _with a girl_. Do I look like a girl to you – no, don’t answer that if you’re going to bring up the fucking damsel in distress thing again,” amended Theon swiftly.

Robb snapped his mouth shut, but his eyes were brimming with amusement. He uncurled one of his hands from the park bench and tentatively reached for Theon’s, the pads of his fingertips brushing against the back of Theon’s hand. Theon shivered abruptly, but didn’t move away as Robb laced his fingers through his own.

“You’re not – angry, right?” Robb asked carefully.

Theon snorted, shaking his head. “I’m not angry,” he said. He was overwhelmed and felt really stupid for having missed all the hints Robb had given – and there had been plenty – but he wasn’t mad at Robb. The contrary, in fact.

Theon leaned in closer, giving Robb the same smirk he used on all the people he’d dated, except this time it felt a million times more genuine and real. “I think that since you did lie to me about this being a date –”

“I didn’t lie to you, I just – didn’t tell you!"

“Same thing. Anyway, you cheated me out of a make-out session at the theatre, so I think you owe me one now.”

Robb stared at him, a grin tugging at the corner of his lips. “You’re incorrigible.”

“Incorrigible?” repeated Theon, rolling the word around on his tongue. “I like the sound of that. Guess I’ll have to keep up that reputation.” 

“How –”

Theon seized the lapels of Robb’s jacket and tugged him closer, smashing his mouth against his. It was the sloppiest kiss Theon had ever initiated, but judging by Robb’s enthusiastic response, he didn’t particularly mind.

“Robb,” panted Theon.

“Hmm?”

“I don’t think this is going to be a _quick_ pit stop.”

 

\---

 

“No. No, no, no, no, _no –_ ”

“You know,” Asha cut in cheerfully from where she was leaning back in the car seat with her feet on the dashboard, “saying the word ‘no’ over and over again isn’t going to make it any less true.”

Jon pressed the binoculars more firmly against his eyes, the cool black plastic digging into his forehead and cheekbones. He adjusted the dial until it focused once more on his half-brother and Theon Greyjoy, sitting close together on a park bench and –

He yanked the binoculars away and rubbed at his eyes, as if he could wipe away the image of them making out from his retinas.

Jon had been having a perfectly normal afternoon until Asha had called, informing him that she’d won the bet they’d made some five years ago about Robb and Theon potentially dating. He hadn’t believed her – surely if Robb had been planning on asking Theon out on a date, he would have told him, right?

He hadn’t counted on Asha marching up to his front door and somehow roping him into stalking his half-brother and Asha’s brother on their movie outing. Jon was sure that if the biggest waste of time in his life wasn’t spying on Robb and Theon as they entered the movie theatre to see Civil War, then walk into the pizzeria his family often frequented to eat pizza, it was pretty damn close. Besides, it wasn’t the only time Robb and Theon had watched movies and eaten out afterwards – even if Jon really didn’t want to know whether Robb usually lent Theon his jacket.

He and Asha had followed them to the park that Jon remembered visiting to play with Robb, Sansa and Arya back when they were all children. He had a vague memory of Robb meeting Theon for the first time at that same park, which he’d guessed was what they were talking about. 

Then, when they’d sat down on the park bench, Robb had unexpectedly kissed Theon, causing Asha to shout triumphantly and extract a pair of binoculars from underneath the driver’s seat. Jon had simply stared at the pair in stunned amazement until Asha had passed the binoculars over to him.  

“Do you finally believe me?” asked Asha, jarring him from his thoughts.   

Jon sighed and nodded, taking out his wallet and counting out three ten-dollar bills. He handed them over to Asha, who pocketed them with a wink.

“Nice doing business with you,” she said with a smug, self-satisfied expression that reminded Jon of her brother. “I look forward to our next bet.”

“There isn’t going to be a next bet,” muttered Jon.

Asha looked rather disappointed. “That’s a pity. It would’ve been fun to make more money off of you.”

“What if I won the bet?” Jon retorted.

“If you’d had even the slightest chance of winning, I wouldn’t have initiated the bet in the first place.”

“Wait – you mean, you knew for sure –”

She arched an eyebrow. “That my idiot brother’s in love with his idiot best friend, and vice versa? I figured that out years ago. And I’m sure you had at least an inkling.”

Jon had to admit she was right. He’d started to suspect Robb and Theon’s friendship might be more than _just_ friendship after Robb had gotten a little too excited over the news that Theon would be attending the same high school as them, but by that time he’d already sealed the bet with Asha. Even if he hadn’t, Jon had a feeling that he’d have gone through with it anyway because he’d been happily living in denial.

But now, seeing Robb and Theon (or rather, trying not to), he couldn’t believe how obvious they’d been, nor how oblivious he’d been.

“Knowing Theon, they’re going to be at it for the next half hour,” said Asha, swinging her feet back onto the floor. “But just in case, we’d better leave now – before they catch us spying on them.”

“That would be a good idea,” said Jon in relief. He just wanted to go home and forget about this entire business – at least, until he was forced to face Robb and pretend he hadn’t been stalking him. 

He turned over the binoculars in his hand and gave them back to Asha. Frowning, he asked, “Why do you have binoculars in your car, anyway?”

“Would you believe me if I said they were for bird-watching?”

“No.”

Asha flashed him a smirk as she started up the car engine. “That’s a pity.”

Jon was about to ask what the hell that was supposed to mean, but as she backed out from the parking spot beside Robb’s car and whizzed down the street, he decided that he probably didn’t want to know.

All he knew for certain was that he was going to have trouble faking surprise when Robb eventually told him that he was dating Theon. Jon thought his half-brother could do better (seriously, _Theon Greyjoy_ of all people), but as long as they were happy together, who was he to judge?

 

\---

 

“So what were the cupcakes for?” asked Theon as Robb drove along the quiet road. The sun had set long ago and the only source of illumination were the lampposts lining either side of the road, casting faint white beams onto the darkened pavement.  

Robb blushed, keeping his eyes fixed ahead. “You mentioned giving flowers on the first date, but since you kill every plant you touch, I thought I’d spare both you and the flowers the pain and just bake cupcakes for you instead.”

“...Should I be insulted or flattered?”

“Oh, definitely flattered. The first two batches were half-burnt and the only one who’s willing to eat them is Grey Wind. Even the other dogs won't touch them.”

A distant crack sounded. Robb peered worriedly at the dark grey clouds blanketing the sky. “Was that thunder?”

“You better hope not, because a thunderstorm is _not_ part of a perfect first date,” joked Theon.

“Maybe I’ll get you home before it starts raining,” said Robb hopefully.

As if on cue, big fat droplets of water began pattering the car’s windshield, blurring the view from inside the car. 

“I just jinxed it, didn’t I?” groaned Robb as he switched on the windshield wipers.

“Yeah, you might as well have shouted at the sky to start raining,” agreed Theon. Personally, he didn’t really mind – he’d always loved the rain – but he knew Robb had had a strong aversion to water ever since an incident at a splash pad many years before involving Joffrey Baratheon, a broken pipe, and several beach towels.

By the time they arrived back at Theon’s house, it was raining buckets. Theon climbed out of Robb’s car, frowning when he noticed Asha’s black sedan parked in the driveway. He could have sworn it’d been inside the garage when he and Robb had left - had Asha gone out at some point? 

He was distracted from his puzzlement when Robb got out of the car and made a noise of displeasure as the torrential rain drenched him from head to toe in seconds. “How can you _like_ the rain?”

Theon grinned, tilting his head back and letting the cold water run through his hair and collect on his eyelashes. Before he could answer Robb with words, a bright flash of white light exploded from somewhere far behind Robb, followed by a series of sizzling pops.

Robb’s face instantly paled and he grabbed Theon’s hand. Theon didn’t protest when Robb pulled him out of the pouring rain and under the relative shelter of the porch roof.

“Of course there would be fucking _lightning_ too,” said Theon after a moment. “Next time I give someone first date advice, I’ll add ‘check the fucking weather forecast before picking the day.’”

Robb laughed, the breathy noise catching in his throat. His eyes dipped downwards, and Theon realized their hands were still intertwined. He hesitated, internally debating whether he should leave them still or pull away or _something,_  when Robb clasped their fingers together more tightly, moved one hand to the back of Theon’s head, and kissed him.

It was brief and altogether too short – when Robb stepped away, Theon whined and instinctively chased the movement, but Robb pressed a finger against his lips to stop him.

“I believe you said something about leaving girls wanting more,” he said with a smile entirely too smug for Theon’s liking.

Theon looked at him incredulously. “How many times have I said it, _I’m_ _not a girl_ –”

“Too bad,” said Robb. “I’m following your advice to the letter – well, most of it – so that I’ll hopefully get a second date.”

Theon felt his lips curve up into a grin. “That can be arranged. Provided that this time, you actually tell me that it’s a date.” 

“Deal,” said Robb, squeezing his hand. Another crack of thunder boomed overhead and he winced. “I'd better get home before this storm gets even worse. Text you later?”

Theon nodded once, his grin widening. “You better.”

After one last wave, Robb raced back to his car, hands over his head as if to block the rain. Theon couldn’t help chuckling in amusement as he watched him frantically unlock his car door and hurry back into the safety of his vehicle. Their eyes met through the foggy car window, and Theon was almost certain he saw Robb mouth _I love you_ before driving off.

He probably wasn’t supposed to see that. Maybe it was even his imagination. But he realized that for once, he actually had reason to believe it wasn’t just something his brain misconstrued as evidence that Robb liked him back.

Theon considered it for moment, then pulled his phone from his pocket and carefully typed _Me too, but you shouldn’t say that on the first date. It might scare your date away._

When half an hour later, Robb texted back _It didn’t seem to have scared you off_ , Theon simply smirked and replied, _Never._

 


End file.
